An idea for you to consider
The conventional wisdom about triggers is:
"This person did X, and therefore they are the reason I feel bad. If they stop doing X, then I will feel okay."
Let us pause for a moment and reflect on that attitude.
What is the consequence of adopting this view?
- Others need to behave a certain way that doesn't upset us
- We feel the need to control our environment
- We give others power over our feelings and state of well-being
Placing control over our own well-being to others doesn't seem healthy and useful to me.
How about we adopt a different attitude:
"This person did X, which activated a pre-existing fear or discomfort inside of me. If I resolve that existing discomfort, then X will not have a significant impact on me."
Can you spot the difference? By shifting toward this new attitude, we change our approach and focus on our inner world.
- We acknowledge our fears and discomforts inside of us
- We take responsibility and do not blame others for the way we feel
- We stay in the driver's seat for our well-being
Also, once we have resolved our own fears and pains, there will be nothing left to trigger us.
(This idea stems from the book "Whole again" by Jackson MacKenzie. If you want to learn more, I can highly recommend to read the whole book.)
A great read for you
We've heard our fair share about silicon valley unicorns. However, at least I have heard for the first time about "zebras" in one of the most recent newsletter editions of Humane Tech.
The article below provides a unique perspective on zebras and how their focus on principles of mutualism, shared property, and multi-stakeholder value could lead to more humane tech solutions as well as benefits for our society. I highly recommend to give their newsletter a try!
A quote for you to ponder
"All of human unhappiness comes from one single thing: not knowing how to remain at rest in a room." - Blaise Pascal
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